Third memorial of Privy Councillor Yu Gonggwon (柳公權) begging to retire from office柳樞密公權乞辭職表 第三表
臣某言。昨以寢疾累表乞退。伏蒙今月日復降手詔不允者。匹夫難奪。敢沓貢於血誠。嚴勅屢加。尙阻聞於頷可。周張失次。啓處不遑。竊以際會之間。進退非易。上不以苛留爲惠而露洩其短。下不以冒處爲榮而蹶踣於終。然後上下相知。情禮曲盡。朝無曠官之誚。人有遂性之宜。伏念臣非以才昇。本緣幸進。文雅不能絢飾吏事。經術又未潤色皇猷。翺翔要津。疣贅賢路。遽迫負薪之疾。益懷覆餗之虞。王言溫密而慰訊滋深。御醫旁午而診視不絶。淚盈襟袖。感入肺腸。雖賴聖人之恩靈。苟延時月。自驚曩日之形狀。坐變朝昏。亮宜退安。敢意復進。臣又聞在位之人。當平居無事。則略無求退之心。及一旦臨病。亟求解職。此則非敢惡榮而止。自惜其身命而已。臣勢雖類此。實則異焉。常懲滿溢以未寧。豈昧斂收而早退。徒以上之優渥厚矣。臣之報效缺然。所致於君。唯此身耳。苟徇諸欲。其若恩何。故未勇於乞閑。但自努於竭節。今則體已㾨而無拜跪之力。步已澁而闕趨蹌之儀。旣不得起守官班。又何宜臥腐公廩。右者。廣德移病而漢帝罷令就第。裴度稱疾而唐皇許以在家。此皆國家之所庇依。帝王之所倚注。雖惜其才賢而不欲許遣。亦憫其老病而不使逼來。況臣本無補於經綸。復久罹於疾疹。有何冀望。而又遷延。病翼遲廻。久費浴池之惠。困魚跳伏。驟思游海之心。伏望聖上陛下。示聖德之兼容。委天光之旁燭。俯從哀請。許遂退藏。用玆俸祿之豐。畀以英豪之優。必有異士。堪守劇權。區區之誠。天日炤臨。云云。
I, your servant so-and-so, report. The other day, lying ill, I submitted memorials several times over begging to retire; and on a certain day this month Your Majesty again sent down a rescript in your own hand and did not consent. The will of a common man is hard to take away, and I dare to offer up my blood-like sincerity once more. Stern edicts have come down several times, but I have not yet heard your nod of consent. In my confusion I have lost all order and have no leisure to sit or stand.
Quietly I consider that in the meeting of ruler and servant, the going forward and the withdrawing are not easy. Above, the holding of a man by force should be counted a kindness that does not expose his shortcomings; below, the braving it out and staying should be counted a glory in which one does not fall in the end. Only then do high and low know one another, feeling and ceremony are full and particular, the court incurs no reproof of an office left empty, and a man gains the fitness of fulfilling his own nature.
Prostrate, I consider that your servant did not rise by talent but advanced from the first by luck. By elegance of letters I cannot give lustre to the business of office, and by classical learning I cannot polish Your Majesty's counsels. I fly about the vital fords and cling like a wen to the path of worthy men. Suddenly I am driven by an illness like carrying firewood on my back, and the more I harbour the care of overturning the cauldron.
Your Majesty's words are warm and intimate, and your consolation and inquiry the deeper; the court physicians hurry back and forth and the examinations do not cease. My tears fill my collar and sleeves, and gratitude soaks into my lungs and bowels. Though by the sage's kindness I eke out and lengthen my days, I am myself startled at how the figure I once had changes from morning to evening. It is truly right for me to withdraw and be at ease; how should I think of going forward again?
Your servant hears, moreover, that a man in office, when there is nothing amiss in ordinary times, has not the least mind to seek retirement, and then, falling ill one morning, urgently seeks to be released from his post. This is not that he dares to loathe glory, but only that he spares his own body and life. Your servant's situation, though it looks like this, is in fact otherwise. Always guarding against being full and overflowing I was never at ease; how should I not have known to draw in and withdraw early? Only, Your Majesty's kindness was generous and your servant's repayment short. What I have to offer Your Majesty is this body alone; if I truly followed only my own wish, what then of that kindness? Therefore I was not bold to beg for leisure, and only strove to exhaust my fidelity.
Now my body is already ill and has no strength to bow and kneel, and my steps are already halting so that I cannot keep the rite of advancing with quick short paces. Since I can no longer rise and keep my post, how then should I lie down and let the state's granary rot? When Gwangdeok (廣德) pleaded illness, the sovereign of Han released him and let him go home; when Bae Do (裴度) spoke of illness, the sovereign of Tang permitted him to stay at home. These were men upon whom the state leaned and whom the sovereign relied on and gave his heart to. Though, cherishing their talent and worth, he did not wish to grant them leave to go, neither did he, pitying their age and illness, compel them to come.
How much more your servant, who from the first adds nothing to the governing of the state and has besides long been ill — what should I hope for, and why put it off further? With sick wings I circle slowly and have long wasted the kindness of bathing in the pool, and like a weary fish that leaps and then lies still I suddenly think of a mind to roam in the sea.
Prostrate I hope that Your Sage Majesty will show the holy virtue that takes in all alike and let your heaven-like light shine even to the side, and bending down follow my sorrowful request and permit me to accomplish my retirement into hiding. Give this ample salary amply to an outstanding man. There will surely be a man of rare parts fit to keep so busy an authority. My paltry sincerity heaven and the sun shine upon and see. And so forth.
Interlinear notes 2
中謝。
Here the words of thanks (中謝) are inserted.
右者 — a formula in documents meaning "the above-written." In recitation it does not make sense and would create a time-word not in the original, and so it is removed from the body. — Translator