Memorial of thanks, third time三度謝表
云云。囊奏緘詞。期寢已行之命。泥函降詔。繼宣曲諭之辭。凌兢失圖。殞越爲懼。伏念臣早捐俗累。粗襲祖禪。摘埴索塗。學未臻於窮理。刻舟求劍。性不解於徇時。固甘陸海之平沈。絶覬僧門之遠致。偶緣厚幸。屢玷大名。病樹逢春。優荷九天之澤。閑雲出岫。訖微一雨之功。合斂跡以退藏。猶強顔而冒處。敢圖異眷。更出常鈞。頻紆綸綍之言。將展几筵之敬。自惟缺爾。益用赧然。昔者。漢帝設杖於桓榮。燕王擁篲於鄒衍。玆乃崇儒而下士。宜其屈體以忘尊。如臣之愚。無德可取。豈敢以鶴骨枯槁之態。而坐受龍顔禮貌之儀。情所未安。理當固避。然念居君之土。受國之恩。苟執意以違天。卽容身之無地。勢不得已。雖從訓勅之嚴。老無能爲。曷副師資之重。但當益礪戒行。無怠熏修。仰憑千佛之慈。永祝一人之壽。云云。
And so forth. Sealing my words of petition in an envelope, I looked for the withdrawal of the command already sent down; yet you sent down a rescript in a casket sealed with clay and unfolded, one after another, words bending to admonish me. In fear and trembling I do not know what to do, and I am afraid as of falling down dead.
Prostrate, I consider that your servant early cast off the business of the world and roughly took up the succession of the patriarchs' Seon. Groping the ground with a staff as though to find the road, my learning never reached the fathoming of principle; marking the boat and seeking the sword, my nature is not clear as to following the times. Truly I took it with a good grace to be buried and sunk among land and sea, and never wished to arrive far in the monastic order.
By chance, leaning upon a thick good fortune, I have again and again sullied a great name. As a sick tree meeting spring, I was amply visited with the favor of the ninefold heavens; yet I did no more than come out as an idle cloud comes out of a mountain cave, and in the end the merit of even a single shower was little. I ought to have gathered in my traces and withdrawn into hiding, and yet with a thick face I made bold to stay.
How could I have thought that an uncommon regard would again go beyond the ordinary, sending down the words of a rescript again and again and meaning to extend to me the respect of the armrest and the mat? Thinking myself how far I fall short, my face reddens the more.
In old days the ruler of Han set out armrest and staff for Huan Rong (桓榮), and the king of Yan took up a broom and swept the road for Zou Yan (鄒衍). This was to exalt the scholar and lower oneself, bending one's body as is right and forgetting one's own height. How should one foolish as your servant, having no virtue worth taking, dare to sit with a frame as lean as a crane's bones and receive the ceremony by which the dragon countenance treats him with honor? My heart is not at ease in it, and by right I ought firmly to get out of the way.
Yet I consider that, being one who lives on the sovereign's land and receives the state's grace, if I truly held to my own will and went against heaven, there would be nowhere to put my body. The case being what it is, I comply with your stern charge; but being old and able to do nothing, how should I match the weight of your taking me for a preceptor?
I can only grind and polish my keeping of the precepts the more without slackening, and, looking up and leaning upon the mercy of a thousand Buddhas, pray for the sovereign's span for ever.
Interlinear notes 1
中謝。
Here the words of thanks (中謝) are inserted.