A long letter長啓

I submit this. I bow and consider that a short well-rope cannot draw water from a deep place, and a blunt blade cannot cut through what is stuck fast. For this reason the man who is not able stops, as Zhou Ren said. One ought to measure his strength and act accordingly. How can he simply follow what his heart desires? I am a mere commoner of the Eastern Sea. Long ago I left my home ten thousand li away, and watched this country for ten years. My hope from the first went no further than a place at the tail of the list, and the post of a county magistrate somewhere in the Jianghuai. In the winter of the year before last I left my minor post as constable. I hoped to sit for the examination of broad learning and grand composition, and settled on a plan to live in the mountains and retire for a while. I meant to make my studies reach the sea and to cut and polish myself again. But my salary had left me nothing, and my allowance for books would not stretch. So I took up a broom and came to sweep at your gate. How could I have reckoned that His Excellency the Grand Commandant would bestow his encouragement and pity from so far off, and sign me at once into an office of rank? My traces hurry to Zheng Zhuang's posthouses, and my body lodges at Tao Qian's window. I am spared the worry of Dongguo's poverty, and have only to nourish the courage of Beigong. In the middle of summer last year I met the army going out. Suddenly he called for me, and undeservedly laid the whip to me. He allowed me to follow the dragon banners, and for a long while I have leaned on the heron boat. I have always regretted that my cloth drum sounds common and my leaden knife is a dull tool. Though I poured out my liver and gall, I could not match what you pointed to. Then all at once you thought that I admire the good and lean on benevolence, and graciously submitted a recommendation for me. Your weighty word found its answer in heaven, and I have undeservedly been raised over the heads of others. Had the Ninefold Palace not leaned on merit and fame, and the ten circuits not obeyed the law, how could that gracious command have been allowed at all? From being nothing more than a constable of a superior county beyond the river, I was given a censorial rank in the inner palace, and a badge and seal-cord besides. And when I look at the caps and sashes of this sage court, there are many brilliant sons of good houses who have entered service and held office for twenty or thirty years and still wear the blue robe, never having hurried to a lotus tent. How much more so for a scholar from a foreign land like me? In antiquity a man was promoted nine times in one day, but even that could not match this abundance of honor. I once read the Analects, and saw that when Confucius told Qidiao Kai to take office, he answered, "I have not yet mastered the way of advancing in service." Confucius thought well of his deep purpose and was pleased. Though I am ashamed of my own dullness, I quietly admire him. Lately I received your kindness, and you graciously transferred me to another post. I at once drew up a memorial declining it, and returned the dispatch you had given me. I respectfully received your written instruction: "The imperial command will come presently. Only accept it." Since my utmost sincerity was not granted, I must indeed look up and obey your stern intent for the present. Yet standing, I am ashamed before my own form and shadow. Sitting, my spirit is startled. Every time I face the cold lamp at night or glance into the clear mirror at dawn, I am so moved that tears lie across my chin like rain, and so anxious that sweat soaks my back. Escaping the wind and dust is an honor, but I blush twice over for fouling your halls. I bow and consider that His Excellency the Grand Commandant, with his mighty name and lofty repute, his great virtue and abundant merit, not only covers the nine provinces like a cloud, but is also carried like the wind to ten thousand states. Whoever turns an eye or lends an ear looks up to him as the pointer to the south. Scholars and warriors have but one man to turn to. So the several circuits cling to him like shadows and watch his horse's head. But the Inspector to the Supreme Commander must be chosen from men whose talent fits the post. Outside, he satisfies the hopes of the four quarters. Inside, he lends weight to the majesty of the ten chariots. If I now foul the favor and regard you have shown me, and hold a □ post as a mere placeholder, I fear only that I shall buy the laughter of the tribes and earn the reproach of the histories. Long ago Jin Midi of the Han court was always at Emperor Wu's side. The emperor wished to grant him some further favor, and Jin Midi declined, saying, "Your servant is a man of a foreign country. It would only make the Xiongnu think lightly of Han." My request today lies truly in this. When the gentlemen of the several offices set out the public opinion some time ago, it was so that the lowly should not hinder the noble, and so that the Yi (夷) should not throw the Hua (華) into disorder. Since the year before last I have been under your gate, and I know no one else. I have called only at the several offices, and the men of the headquarters were kind enough to me that I was fortunately received. I quietly hear that when His Excellency the Grand Commandant asked about me at Dongtang last summer, the gentlemen of the offices joined their strength to recommend and praise me, answering one another like an echo. So it was that I was steeped in your generous treatment and all at once stole this singular honor. That I have lately set out honest words one after another and not followed your noble intent is truly because I value the good name of His Excellency the Grand Commandant, and would preserve the proper forms of the Huainan headquarters. Only if the substance of the matter is not marred does my help lie in it. At the end of winter I received your order in person. You wished to open a separate office for me. Though I received your gracious consent, my anxious heart only grows keener. Why is this? The Liu tao says, "The size of a man's talent is like a peck measure (斗). It cannot hold a picul (石). When it is full, the rest is thrown away." And so Confucius said, "Meng Gongchuo would do more than well as steward to the houses of Zhao and Wei, but he could not be a great officer of Teng or Xue." Now I gladly lay myself open to stern punishment and pour out my true earnestness. I may well beg to be released from my post, so that the slander attaching to office may end. I bow and beg that His Excellency the Grand Commandant will especially consent and follow my wish, so that I may now be in my proper place. If you should not cast me out, and still allow me to nest here, then I hope you will make me up a supernumerary place instead, or grant me some thin, nominal pay. One branch and a few grains will feed my feathers. A pint of water, a foot of wave, will keep my fins at ease. This is truly no pretense of integrity and yielding got up for a name. It is a real wish to measure my own limits and avoid becoming a burden on your kindness. The Chunqiu zhuan says, "The Marquis of Qi wished to make Jingzhong a minister. He declined, saying, 'A stranger and a sojourner, your servant has escaped punishment and been freed from carrying burdens. What he has gained is much already. Would he dare to disgrace a high post? He begs to report this on pain of death.' So he was made Master of Artisans." He did not lose his good name, and the old story shines out plainly. My lowly sincerity is earnest. Keeping to the Way, I shall not be grudged. Coming up to the gate, I shall be spared having my feet cut off. I ask only that you leave your favor in the medicine mortar, so that in the end there may be hope of rising above the clouds, and that you keep the milfoil hairpin in mind, so that there may never be the sorrow of being thrown to the ground. I trespass on your awful majesty. My humble heart cannot bear the fullness of its earnest pressing, its anxiety and its fear. Respectfully set out.