Making Friends交友篇

Confucius said, "To live with a good person is like entering a room of iris and orchid. After a long while you no longer smell the fragrance, but by then you have been changed by it. To live with a bad person is like entering a shop of salted fish. After a long while you no longer smell the stench, but by then you have been changed by it too. A vessel that holds cinnabar turns red, and a vessel that holds lacquer turns black. Therefore the gentleman is careful about those he lives among."

"To be friends with a good person is like the fragrance of orchid and sweet herb. One house plants it, and both houses are fragrant. To be friends with an evil person is like climbing a wall with a child in your arms. One person slips, and both are struck by the harm."

The Jia yu says, "To walk with a good person is like walking through mist and dew. Your clothes are not soaked, but little by little they grow damp. To walk with an ignorant person is like sitting in a privy. Your clothes are not soiled, but now and then you catch the stench. To walk with an evil person is like walking among knives and swords. Your body is not wounded, but now and then you are startled and afraid."

Taigong said, "Draw near to red and you turn red. Draw near to ink and you turn black. Draw near to the worthy and you grow bright. Draw near to the talented and you grow wise. Draw near to the foolish and you grow foolish. Draw near to the good and you grow virtuous. Draw near to the wise and you grow worthy. Draw near to the dull and you grow dim. Draw near to the flatterer and you grow to flatter. Draw near to the thief and you turn robber."

Master Hengqu said, "The friends of today choose those who are soft and pliant with them, and take slapping shoulders and catching sleeves for agreement of spirit. Then one word does not suit them, and they meet each other with an angry face. Between friends there should be no tiring of yielding to each other. And so those who reach respect between friends grow closer by the day, and gain in virtue fastest of all."

Confucius said, "Yan Pingzhong knows how to keep friends. Even after long acquaintance he still respects them."

Ji Kang said, "Respect the fierce and dangerous man, and keep him far off. Befriend the worthy and virtuous man, and keep him close. If he comes with evil, answer with good. If he comes crooked, answer straight. How then could there be any grudge?"

Mencius said, "With one who injures himself you cannot speak. With one who abandons himself you cannot work."

Taigong said, "A woman without a clear mirror does not know whether her face is fair or rough. A scholar without a good friend does not know where his conduct falls short."

Confucius said, "To urge each other toward good is the way of friends."

When you make friends, make them of those better than yourself. A friend who is only like you is worse than none.

Those who know your face fill the whole world. How many are there who know your heart?

Plant trees, but do not plant the weeping willow. Make friends, but do not make friends of the shallow and the light.

The people of old joined only hearts in friendship. The people of today join only faces.

Song Hong said, "The wife who ate dregs and chaff with you is not sent down from the hall. The friendship of poor and lowly days must not be forgotten."

Give kindness before a man's time has come. Make friends while he is poor and cold. If the feeling between you stays as it was at the first meeting, there will be no grudge in the heart to the end of your days.

Brothers of wine and food, there were a thousand of them. In the hour of urgent trouble, there is not one.

Do not plant a flower that bears no fruit. Never make a friend of one who has no sense of right.

The friendship of a gentleman is plain as water. The friendship of a small man is sweet as honey.

A man is tried by dealing in money, and gold is tried by fire. Water is sounded with a staff to know if it is deep or shallow, and a man's heart is seen as soon as money passes between you.

Do not pass money between those bound by benevolence and right. Once money passes, benevolence and right are cut off.

A long road shows the strength of a horse. Long dealings show the heart of a man.

Master Gu Dongqiao said, "To make friends widely and spread your name is not so good as to live alone and keep yourself whole."

Lord Wenqing said, "To one who cannot take a word, do not carelessly give even a single word. This is one rule for keeping friends well."