A Letter in My Own Hand Sent, After the Army's Return, to the Rear Commander of the Army, Director Pak Inseok (朴仁碩)軍還後。寄兵馬留後朴郞中仁碩手書。
月日。某啓。別來。未審台體動用何似。傾渴萬萬。僕素狂。且非有祿仕所縻。一旦被驅迫。強佐軍幕。脫不遇知己。決棄身瘴地。不復踏京華矣。幸蒙閣下賞遇大縟。其朝夕未曾離左右。論文飮酒。開口展眉。已不可勝言。至如護短扶長。以僕之行藏去就。未嘗不爲念。力欲成就之。雖父兄舅叔。孰有如閣下之愛我者也。身死骨朽。其可忘哉。在軍中。以閣下所庇。幾及三年。略無微恙。得不隨雲門屯壘之疾疫軍士同斃。及軍還。已至惠陰院。暴得重病。其入京師。怳怳若大醉人。雖至家尙不識何處。沈痛數旬。始得小間。脚力猶輭。杖而後起。公私展謁。至今尙闕。以是不得一往見賢嗣。問南音來否。何無狀如之。始予之被疾也。顧平生無所顧惜。雖不以死生嬰懷。但恐不得復謁閣下奉淸塵敍舊好。用是不得大無求活之心也。今者疾小間。計閣下之廻旆。又無幾何。則攀援當有日。寧復憂哉。近復聞閣下躬自擐執與賊戰。生獲四十餘人。馳聞闕下。僕喜且抃曰。果若吾言。吾固不云乎。夫愛生懼死。人之常情。貪賞畏刑。亦人之常理也。賞罰剛明。則士卒皆以爲進而不利死。退而受罰亦死。然退則必死。進則勝敗未可知。幸而得捷。旣免死又受賞矣。於是爭先無敢後。以此當敵。何戰不捷哉。賞罰不明。則進退何有懲勸。而孰有損其所愛。趨其所懼者乎。日者。閣下非不能知此。但佐元戎而未得擅其柄故也。今大兵方還。天子以公爲留後。一委兵柄。則所謂賞罰何有不明。而以賊遺君父耶。賊滅無日矣。僕之此言。公所親聞。果中耶不中耶。予始可誇之矣。其謂之廻旆無幾日。蓋以此自必也。餘種不久當就擒。勉旃勉旃。夏熱。想手衣易腐。敢以此遠獻。惟冀爲國自重。精加調攝。以副傾祝之望。不宣。某再拜。
On a certain day of a certain month, so-and-so declares.
Since we parted I have not known how it fares with your body and your doings, and my longing is beyond measure. I was from the first a madman, and besides was not one bound to any salaried office; and then in a single morning I was driven to it and forced to help in the camp. Had I not met with one who knew my worth, I should certainly have thrown my body away in that hot country and never trodden the capital again.
Happily Your Excellency's praise and treatment of me were great and thick, and morning and evening I never left your side. Of our discoursing on letters and drinking wine, of opening our mouths and unknitting our brows, nothing more can be said. You covered over my short places and held up my long ones, and never failed to keep my advancing and retreating, my going and staying, in your heart, and strove to make something of me. Even a father or an elder brother, an uncle on either side, who would love me as Your Excellency has? Though my body die and my bones rot, how should I forget it?
While I was with the army, by the virtue of Your Excellency's sheltering I had not the least illness for almost three years, and in the camp towers of Unmun (雲門) I was able not to die along with the soldiers who caught the plague. When the army was returning, on reaching Hyeeum Hostel (惠陰院) I suddenly fell gravely ill. Coming into the capital I was dazed like a man deeply drunk, and even on reaching my house did not know where I was. Only after being very ill for several times ten days did I begin to mend a little. The strength of my legs is still soft and I rise only by leaning on a staff, and so I have until now failed to call upon you on official business. And thus I have not even gone once to see your son and ask whether news has come from the south; there is nothing I feel more shame for than this.
When I first fell ill, I looked back and found nothing in my life to grudge, and did not hang death and life upon my heart. I feared only that I might not see Your Excellency again and attend upon your clear traces and set forth our old friendship; and for that reason my wish to live was not altogether absent. Now my illness has mended a little, and reckoning the day when Your Excellency will turn back your banners, it too is not far off, so that there will surely be a day for me to take hold of you and cling. Why should I grieve any more?
Of late I hear besides that Your Excellency put on armor yourself and took up weapons and fought the brigands and took more than forty men alive and sent word posting to the palace. I clapped my hands in joy and said: "It is just as I said. Did I not say from the first that it would be so?"
To cherish life and fear death is the ordinary heart of men, and to covet reward and fear punishment is likewise the ordinary principle of men. When reward and punishment are firm and clear, the soldiers all think thus: "If I advance and it goes ill, I die; and if I retreat and am punished, I also die. But retreating, I shall surely die; advancing, it cannot be known whether I win or lose. If I am fortunate and win, I escape death and receive a reward besides." And so they vie to be first and none dares lag behind; and facing an enemy with these, what battle would not be won? When reward and punishment are not clear, what reproach or encouragement is there in advancing and retreating, and who will lessen what he cherishes and run toward what he fears?
It was not that Your Excellency did not know this before; it was only that you were assisting the Commander and could not have that handle at your own disposal. Now the great army has just come back, and the king has made you Rear Commander and entrusted the whole handle of the troops to you; so how should what we call reward and punishment not be clear, and how should the brigands be left for the king? The day of the brigands' ending is not far off. These words of mine you heard from my own mouth. Have they proved true, or not true? Now at last I may boast. And my saying that the day of your turning back your banners is not far off was in general because I trusted that it would be so of itself by this. The remnant band will surely be taken before long. Exert yourself, exert yourself.
The summer being hot, the gloves worn on the hands seemed likely to rot easily, and so I dare to send these from afar. I only pray that for the state's sake you will hold your body weighty and nurse yourself carefully, and so answer to the hope for which I long and pray. Here I stop. So-and-so bows twice.